Kama Sutra of the Force: Episode VI
by The Pug Addict
Summary: Anguished for days, Kylo Ren suffers from a breakdown in the middle of the night. Now assigned with a mission to capture Rey, Queen Tazaar is more than willing to help her friend find mental peace... which entails quenching his unwavering forbidden "thirst" for the pretty little no-one from Jakku... (Contains spoilers. Rated M for language, violence, nudity and sexual content.)
1. Chapter 1

_WARNING: This story contains spoilers from Star Wars Episode VII_

 _This story is rated M (16+) for language, violence, nudity and sexual content._

 _Enjoy._

~ooo~

 _Desperation._

 _Cannot breathe._

He tosses to the left and takes a few deep breaths. He tries to stay calm, tries to get some sleep for once, tries to feel okay. Still, the turmoil constricts him like a serpent, tightening around his lungs, suffocating him. He feels ready to die.

" _You need a teacher!…"_

" _I can show you the force!…"_

That memory feels just like a nightmare. He _wants_ it to be just a nightmare. He remembers the flash of blue and the burn like it was just a moment ago. He rubs his sweat-clad face, somehow hoping that it was nothing but a nightmare. But no. He feels the texture of the old scar—a mark that screams reality. The reminder that it happened. It was so. Written in stone, written on his flesh, forever to be remembered.

 _I failed…_

 _I lost her…_

He turns desperately to the other side. Not even the softness of the mattress can alleviate or console his body, not currently in the torment of war yet tearing itself apart tonight like it was still going on. As a result, he tosses and turns, more and more, forcing out heavier and quicker breaths. Anything to fight the despair and the angst. Anything to make it stop. But no use; it only feeds the struggle and strain. Now, he struggles there in bed, his emotions flinging his long limbs and pulling on him like a vicious pack of wild dogs.

 _How could that be?..._

 _She's probably gotten stronger by now… What if I fail again?..._

Now, he tries to replay Rogan's words in his head. Hopefully, it will alleviate it, at least for a little, at least until he can manage to sleep.

" _Everyone fails. Even the most successful people fail…"_

" _Failure isn't the end, Ren…"_

The anxiety and the anger how and snarl, so loud that they drown out those words. They chew up hope and reason, then spit it back out at him.

 _Dammit, you. Dammit, your desires._

 _You had the chance, and you blew it, you stupid fuck._

Some other beasts join in on the attack. They pull his body in the other direction, turning the assault into a vicious competition for meat.

 _How can I not have her?_

 _What's the point to getting stronger? It will never make her come._

 _She has grown to hate me. No matter what, I lose, either way._

Again, he turns to his other side and buries his face in the pillow. He tilts his head while praying that somehow, the thoughts of her will pour out of his head. Instead, they magnify, and the sound of her voice is the first to manifest.

" _A creature wearing a mask…"_

" _Monster…"_

Those words alone are arrows and blades. They sting him even more than had her lightsaber. How her words had deformed and disfigured him! The physical scars merely topped it off. He feels his scar again. His face scrunches in anguish and disgust. He grits his teeth while her sharp words grow louder.

 _Monster, monster, monster._

He breathes harder, opening his mouth, ready to eject a frustrated, furious cry. Instead, he swings his fist onto a pillow as if desperate to break something, desperate to expel the destruction out of him, before it destroys him from inside. No use, though—the wild dogs already take care of it.

 _Disgraced._

 _She made me ugly._

 _Such beauty made me ugly._

 _Why does she have to be so lovely? So wanted?_

Her visage was so clear in his mind. Dammit, how could he forget that face?

 _The dark threads in front of shimmering eyes. Those sand-kissed lips. The chin of a doll. Her graceful neck…._

It provoked some more wild emotions to join in on the bodily butcher. Instead of pulling on his limbs, they dig their claws into him. They eat away at him, digging into his chest, into his heart, into his loins.

 _Don't fight her._

 _The things you want to do to her._

 _You have to have her._

An image, something like a dream played in his head. A better ending. A wish. It flipped back to the two of them, saber-to-saber, on the edge of that cliff. That fateful moment. He could have easily pushed her over that cliff, but it was truly the last thing he wanted. In his head, he forces the lightsaber out of her hand, and it tumbles to the snowy ground. He tosses his aside. Then, he grabs her. He pulls her small body up against his. Desperate to be together, desperate to have her, desperate to be one. What he would give for her to become part of his own flesh.

 _Feeling her._

 _Having her._

 _Mine. All mine. Mine, mine, mine._

The other wild beasts interrupt this fantasy. They clench it with their teeth and tear it to shreds, and they lash out at the other beasts who delivered it, shaking them off.

 _Stop it._

 _Shouldn't feel this way._

 _It's impossible. It will never happen._

 _A monster, remember?_

He flips onto his back and growls, clenching onto his shirt. He is eager to take it off, for the heat is unbearable and makes sleeping all the more unachievable. Then again, what was the point? It would not be enough. He would still be restless.

The beasts eating into his torso earlier do not give up, as much as the other dogs bear their violent jaws at them. They pounce onto him again, and some fight with the competitors and make them let go.

 _Must have her._

 _Nothing without her._

 _Need her desire._

 _Cannot live without…._

Fantasies are planted into him again. Once again, they alleviate the strain from the other wild moods. She is here, in this room, staring right at him through brown threads. He grabs her and throws her down onto this bed, him along with her. He pins her down, stares her dead into those shimmering, star-lit eyes, absorbing her hungrily…

Again, the opposing dogs interrupt.

 _No fantasies. Stop it._

 _It won't happen._

The furious beasts are attacking more viciously now. Their war over his body rages on and suffocates him with their weight, claws and jaws.

 _Monster… Monster…_

He breathes harder. He grits his teeth.

 _You failed…_

He grabs the sheets tighter.

 _Want her._

 _Need her._

Tossing his head the other way.

 _No. Monster…_

The tension is swelling in him.

 _Monster._

His thoughts have become a massive storm. It blows all sanity away. It disintegrates all hope. No more rest, no more comfort.

 _Monster._

His thoughts are on the verge of killing him.

 _Monster…_

 _Monster._

 _Monster!_

 _MONSTER!_

Flinging himself upward, he has just enough breath to unleash one blood-curdling, furious outcry.

 _ENOUGH!_

His howl scared away the emotions.

Once again, Kylo Ren felt nothing.

He took deep breaths, perspiring heavily. His disturbed black eyes scanned the room through darkness, subconsciously taking in the details of his surroundings.

Pure emptiness.

It was odd how blank his mind had become, especially right after this cocktail of mental chaos. In fact, the abrupt end was beginning to make him uneasy. That typical "what the hell just happened" feeling was kicking in—was he really supposed to be this calm right now? Still, he wanted to bask in the feeling while he could, since he was unsure whether the mood swings would come back. While the emptiness lasted, his vitals began to steady themselves, and his breathing grew quiet. It was not long before the decline turned into a crash and made his body fall limp onto his back with a thump. For a while, he stared blankly at the ceiling while the exhaustion kicked in. _Finally_ , he thought. Maybe he could sleep now.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and without a care, he let his thoughts wander a little.

Minutes later, he regretted it.

Within his subconscious was the debris of his mood swing, the unusual sense that he had done something wrong. As he wondered why it was there, shame picked up the scent of his inquisitiveness and became attracted. In a heartbeat did it growl and leap onto his chest.

 _Failure._

The weight upon Ren's chest forced a huff out of him. Clearly, he did not deserve rest tonight. Not for his disgrace. Dread was flowing in his veins. This was only the beginning of another hellish night.

No. He could not let it happen. Not another night. Now, he was considering drastic measures— the only two options he really had.

First, there were his sleeping pills. Those would definitely do the trick, but they were so potent that it would be _very_ difficult to wake up in the morning. Considering his early training session in the morning, sedation was probably out.

Then, there was the other choice. A last minute thought, born of his impulsive nature. Although not as risky, it was far from immaculate…

~ooo~

"What pins would you like, my lady?"

Tazaar's nose twitched a bit when the handmaid undid a small snarl in her hair. She looked over at the tray on her vanity, scanning her wide variety of shimmering hair ornaments. For someone seeing her accessories for the first time, it would have been impossible to pick from the collection, for the queen owned every type of accessory that one could comprehend, from jewels and pearls to clips, pins, feathers, circlets, and more. She thought it perfectly necessary to have countless options available so that she stayed prepared for every occasion and could keep up on the latest hair trends. Tonight, however, she was leaning towards something simple. Therefore, her eyes had fallen upon two long, silver pins with dainty blue jewels on their tips. She gestured at them to her handmaid with her finger. "How about those?"

The handmaid ceased brushing her hair. "Excellent choice," the girl said, agreeing with a nod. Setting the hairbrush down, she reached for the ornaments.

A loud bang from behind had stalled her hand.

The handmaid shrieked and turned around. Tazaar, however, did not flinch. She did not need to—the mirror in front of her had already shown the source of the noise. The reflection announced the presence of a tall, dark figure standing in the doorway. Into her chambers had he brought with him a hostile air, as dark and dense as billowing smoke. Although he was covered in shadow, she could see that he was clenching something silvery in his hand. Perhaps a lightsaber.

In a heartbeat, she identified her intruder. Tazaar quickly shifted around on her chair, peering around the other female to look the man straight into his darkened face. Through direct eye contact, she was hit by waves of sheer anger, burning through her solitude like a river of lava.

And although she knew well of Kylo Ren's infamously destructive temper, receiving such fury from him right now did not frighten her so much as it had shocked her.

His predatory gaze only lasted a few seconds with Tazaar before his gaze shifted. He noticed the handmaid who currently trembled so much that she was holding herself up by clenching to the Queen's chair. Clearly, she was trying not to make a sound, possibly fearing that her cries would prompt the knight to kill her quickly. He wanted no trouble with the handmaid, but any noises were guaranteed to alert nearby guards. Once the girl had become aware of the direction of his eyes, he gave her orders before his glare made her lose control. "Leave us," he hissed. " _Quietly_."

The girl covered her mouth. She scuttled towards the doors without a word, struggling to stand up straight. She shut her eyes as she passed to Ren's side, daring not to see if he was still glaring at her. The handmaid nearly tripped when she was close to him, but she managed to reach the doorway and escape from the room. By the sense of appending doom in her eyes, she had surely known that she was leaving her queen alone to the mercy of Kylo Ren.

Now, with the two of them alone, his focus returned to Tazaar.

Quickly, the vampire stood from her chair, eyes widening with disbelief. Her open lips stuttered into a whisper. "….. B…. Baby broth—"

Ren summoned the Force and shot his hand out at her.

Bewilderment had quickly exploded into full-blown terror. Tazaar clenched her neck in silence and gaped for air.

The raven-haired male stormed towards her with a grim snarl over his lips. He waved his hand, this time throwing her helplessly against the wall.

As he grew closer, the woman writhed slightly under his hold, yet she could hardly move due to the intensity of the control. A pin placed loosely into her hair earlier had fallen to her feet, letting her dark tresses fall and fling in front of her face in a dangled mess. Half of her face was visible and wrinkled with agony from the slam of her skull against the hard wood. When he was just inches away, she could only respond by merely glancing up at his face, appearing disheveled and ready to whimper. Not once, however, did this pitiful look phase him while he drew out his lightsaber, summoning its glowing hotness with a click and a hiss. Then, with his face just inches from hers, he had left enough room between them for the fiery red glow to slip into the space and to greet her throat. With their eyes meeting through messy brown and black sets of hair, he leaned against her, breathing much harder than she did. Focusing more on the woman had nearly caused him to burn his own throat instead, but the immense heat alerted him to keep his hand somewhat steady.

By now, he had relinquished the Force upon her neck and used his weight to hold her in place. Still, she did not say a word. Only deep, shaky breaths while crimson eyes observed the mad pale face beneath tousled, matted raven threads. His apparent insanity rendered his eyes so dull and lifeless. She had thought he looked like a wreck before when he nearly died on Starkiller, but his present madness was making him look a little worse than that.

Finally, Ren opened his lips. " _You_ failed me," he whispered erratically.

"W-wh…."

"You took it from me…."

Unsure what he was referring to, she shook her head.

"When I fought her," he breathed, "you took it from me…"

Now she understood. Her eyes widened.

"Tell me…. You've lost faith in me…"

"…"

He snarled. "Say it." He shifted the humming blade closer to her skin. "Damn you, say it to my face…"

Tazaar shivered, but she refused to speak.

"You see the truth now…. You see I'm not worthy… _Don't you_?..."

She furrowed her brows. While she kept her eyes upon him, she noticed his expression shifting abnormally. Anger was slowly disappearing from his eyes and lips, sinking into his interior like a stone sinking in water. Emerging closer to the surface, however, was something else.

"I'm not enough…." He shook his head. "… Never was… Never will be… Say it…. I'm getting what I deserve…"

Tazaar was in utter disbelief again at the sudden sparkle in his eyes. Was she seeing tears?

Ren was starting to choke. "I deserved to die right there." While pursing his lips, his hand shook slightly and moved the blade between them. Before it got too much, the red glow had suddenly vanished with a hiss.

"… Baby brother?..."

The lightsaber slowly slipped from his hand and tumbled to the floor.

"… Baby brother…"

He fussed miserably now, on the verge of weeping. "I don't deserve sleep anymore… Do I?" he choked. Now, he was a miserable man expelling what he felt were confessions. "I deserve to suffer like this…. Drowning in shame every night…. Desperate to sleep…. Alone…. Broken…. A waste….

"And, say it to me… I deserve to be tormented by _her_ , don't I?...

"An enemy…. A damn nobody…

"Forever thinking of her…

"Forever hungry…

"A woman I know I cannot have…"

Hot tears were streaming. The redness of his cheeks nearly made them look like drops of blood.

Tazaar remained speechless.

Then, at last, it happened. Neither she nor any being had ever seen such a thing before—Kylo Ren falling to pieces, undone, unraveling like bandages, revealing somber and hideous scars much worse than the physical ones. As he buried his face against the wall, he burst into mad, quiet sobs. Tazaar did nothing but watch as his legs seemingly gave beneath him, causing him to slide down slowly against her until he fell to his knees. Not caring about his tears flawing the silk of her robe, he buried his head into her abdomen, his cries and coughs rushing out of him like demons from an inferno.

The vampire looked down at the mentally torn-up human before her. Processing what she was seeing and hearing, she started to understand his torment. In fact, from having witnessed the demeanor of broken-hearted men so often, she knew this kind of torment all too well. Thus, out of sympathy, her hands tenderly made their way to his head. As gently as the wings of a bird, she embraced him in silence.

Here was Kylo Ren, who stood so sturdy against almost every mighty obstacle the galaxy had to offer.

He never imagined breaking like glass because of a woman.

~ooo~

 _((TO BE CONTINUED….))_


	2. Chapter 2

_WARNING: This story contains spoilers from Star Wars Episode VII_

 _This story is rated M (16+) for language, violence, nudity, sexual content and some drug use._

 _Enjoy._

~ooo~

For the rest of the night, Tazaar kept Kylo Ren in her chambers. She dismissed her handmaid for the rest of the evening, consoling her yet demanding that she never speak of the incident she had witnessed. In case he were to break down again, the queen decided to watch over him carefully to ensure that he was at least safe (and that others were safe as well). Sleep was next to impossible, but at least Ren would be calm.

Tazaar would make sure of it. She was burning some recreational herbs in the room, enough to tranquilize him but not potent enough to completely sedate him. If he finally felt ready to fall asleep, then she would offer him her bed (being nocturnal, she did not need it at night anyways). Additionally, she had offered him her ears in case he felt like telling her about his reasons for bursting into her room, but knowing the sensitivity of the topic, she did not want him to feel forced to explain. For now, he was unwilling to say anything, but she would definitely keep the option available.

An hour had passed. To help him feel mentally refreshed, she suggested that he bathe. His hair and skin were still clad with sweat from his breakdown—not only was this bothering him, the sensation of hot water had always been his go-to for whenever he needed some relief. Once he agreed to use her bath, she quickly filled her tub and set out some towels, soaps, oils and some spare robes she found in his size. When everything was ready, Ren occupied the bathroom while his friend waited outside in her bedroom. Now, the young man was sitting in the tub, his brown eyes lowered softly, his long face embraced by steam. Just as Tazaar promised, and just as they had always done to the weary man after every long day, the warm waters swept away the debris of chaos from his hair and skin. Like dirt, sand and grime, the madness that was expelled out his pores was now dissolving off his body. With every little movement, it drifted from him and dissipated, and the clear waters had gladly accepted the muck from him. Ren watched as the surrounding hot liquid—remaining aesthetically beautiful, since he was not quite physically dirty—became far more polluted than he was. Had madness been a true material toxin, the sight of it would have made his stomach churn, and he would have cringed as he thought of how all that had been inside of him and how it was no wonder that he felt so ill tonight. Thankfully, he did not have to see that, and so instead of disgust, he felt immeasurable relief. In fact, he was a bit intrigued. Naturally, water was so simple—how could it be so gentle yet so powerful that it washed away more than just mud?

To invigorate himself some more, Ren splashed up against his skin, rubbing the heat generously into himself, renewing every single inch of flesh. He reached for one of the bottles on the edge next to him and grabbed one that was full of a blue viscous liquid, a body wash made from a rare oil that the locals called _haema_. It was surprising that the vampire was letting him use it; _haema_ was infamous for costing an arm and a leg and was thus a luxury item marketed towards Noctem's wealthier men and women. Even then, because that oil was a staple product in Tazaar's beauty routine, she craved it like gold. She coveted the oil so much that she would not even allow her own sister to use it. Yet, she seemed to have no problem offering some of her precious _haema_ to her "baby brother" for his bath, but maybe she was only being extra generous right now because of her sympathy.

The fragrance was very unfamiliar, but its distinct sweetness appealed to him. He poured some of the wash into his palm and set the bottle aside. He worked it into a slight lather and then began to rub it over his chest and shoulders. As his hands easily glided over his skin, he worked slowly and firmly this time, especially on his shoulders. Being consoled by the smooth feeling of hot water and oil, his sensitive pale skin broke out in goosebumps while every muscle gradually loosened. Subsequently, he worked a little harder. It had almost come to the point where Ren was performing a full-blown massage on himself.

This personal time had proven itself effective—by now, Ren had almost forgotten whatever relentlessly tormented his mind. It had been a while since Kylo Ren felt this much relief. Frankly, in this moment, he felt almost as refreshed as he was after those wonderful, personal times he would typically have alone in the shower.

Come to think of it, he had not done _that_ to himself for a while.

Dear gods, when was the last time? It was definitely at some point just before that raid on Tatooine…

Ren opened his eyes and reached for the _haema_ wash again. He squirted some more into his palm, then lathered it with both hands before applying it to his torso. As he worked slowly over his abdomen, he fell deep into his thoughts, hesitant to satisfy that present urge to sink his hands lower. Was it disrespectful to enjoy himself too much in someone else's bathroom? After all, he did not want Tazaar to regret being so kind to him tonight.

On the other hand, he _did_ practically do it right in front of her before. What he currently felt tempted to do was definitely not as insolent as that particular incident. Even then, the queen had not given a single care in the galaxy about it. So, as long as he cleaned up, why would she care if he did it here, by himself?

And tonight, Tazaar wanted him to relax, didn't she?

One last time, he splashed some of the bath water against his stomach to wash off the soap. Then, he paused, keeping his hands against himself. As Ren stared down into the bath water, his eyes became windows to a hungry universe—desire was the pitch-black void, dusted with stars made of temptation.

Slowly, his hands moved again. Stroking along his delicate skin, they descended into the water.

For those next few minutes in the tub, his mind shifted into a state close to meditation. Touch felt wonderful, but the music of pleasure did not play. Clearly, it could not do the trick alone; he needed some mental stimulation. He spent those few minutes with his eyes shut, head tipped back, searching for something that could turn him on. He refused to work on himself to the same old sex fantasies for the hundredth time, and unless he smoked some of Rogan's _Seventh Heaven_ again, coming up with a new (and adequately tantalizing) one would probably take millennia. Thus, he tried coming into tune with his own body. Perhaps using a bit of the Force upon himself would work. While in meditation, Ren let his consciousness wander. Before he could do so voluntarily, he wound up accessing the Force. However, it did not let him manipulate his own body.

Instead, something unusual happened—a vision of some kind. Like looking at a screen, Ren could see images flash into his mind, even though they were brief and murky. Maybe just another one of those random premonitions, he thought. Yet, by how this vision presented itself to him, he soon discovered that he was not seeing the future. Rather, it was something from the present: something else happening to someone, somewhere, be it near or far away from him. As the "movie" became a little clearer, he could make out the figure of another human. Since the vision was still blurry, he could not yet identify whether this was someone he knew, let alone who it was exactly. Soon, the vision gradually intensified, and the picture became clear as crystal. It was as if Ren was practically sitting right there in the scene, and by then he could instantly identify the person in the vision, even though he could only see the individual from behind.

Right now, she was undoing her belt.

The dark knight cocked a brow, surprised as he watched the belt fall from her hips. He continued to watch as her loose, grey tunic once held in place by her belt was now slowly coming undone. He could not see her true figure until the worn fabric started to slide from her shoulders and unravel, snarling itself a bit around her limbs and her hips. Unveiled and exaggerated by this loosened cloth were shapely long limbs like those of a graceful dancer. The worn fabric pooled beneath a slender waist and sat on the female's shapely hips, like the arms of a desperate man who coveted them, then slid down to the floor. Although he had only seen this vision for a few seconds, the girl's body had quickly captured Ren's attention. Now mesmerized by the prettiness of the figure, he could not help but to sit and watch closely.

Additionally, noticing a large wooden bucket in front of her—perhaps a small, makeshift bath tub—made him anticipate what he was about to see next. And, frankly, he felt a little excited.

The sweet music inside his body had begun.

Softly, he started to stroke himself.

Now, the vision was starting to inflame his anticipation. A tight, beige top that hugged her torso was now peeling upwards over her head. As she hunched over, the deep crease of her spine appeared in the dead center of Ren's vision. Like a lovely serpent through a lush, golden field, it curved and swayed down to the small of her back. What a charming sight it was. If he were truly in that scene right now (and if he were not currently busy touching himself), the man would have reached out to caress her spine, just to run his fingers pleasurably along that very crease in her flesh.

His teeth pinned his lower lip. He stroked a little harder.

The white breast-band was the next to unravel perfectly from her torso, hugging her body along its way down to her feet. Praying that somehow he actually _was_ in this scene right now, Ren let out a soft grunt, hoping that she would perhaps hear the noise and turn— just so he could get a perfect view of her from the front. Anything to get a glimpse of that lovely nude chest…

To his misfortune, the noise failed. She kept her back to him, and he discovered the stinging truth that he was not present with her. Only watching. Honestly, it was agonizing. But frustration was fuel to the flame of pleasure that hardened and heated his manhood. It beckoned him to keenly pump his hand along himself and work in a smooth rhythm that matched his hard, musical pulse. Thankfully, it did the trick for him, for his mind was swirling deliciously, with his stimulated sight and touch adding to the mixture.

There was no stopping yet. The show had only begun. The pretty creature was peeling off the rest of her clothing. With every piece of fabric, she halted Ren's breath and made his heart jump. Her flawless skin seemingly radiated like a gold sun, her hot rays hitting his face and body. It was enough to make a man melt. Yet, embracing her beautiful, scorching heat had only made Ren feel as solid as stone—especially his manhood, which felt this heat the most.

The knight's lips parted slightly. As his breath deepened, he released little guttural moans. The pace of his hand was speeding up.

She looked so immaculate. She not only filled Kylo Ren with desire but also with disbelief. Such a wonder it was to see a woman look so flawless in her true, natural form. No doubt, he had certainly seen beautiful girls before: ladies from every race and culture whom were finely painted, styled, dressed and decked until they were transformed into the finest living works of art. Nevertheless, not even all the finest robes or jewels in the galaxy could make those girls look anywhere close to _this_ one—this wild young beauty, wearing nothing at all.

The most incredible part? She was real, and he had the pleasure of meeting her. How did he get so lucky to have seen her?

Faintly, subconsciously, her name escaped from his throat and into the air, like a fine perfume.

"Rey…"

Her name made the sweet music in his veins swell louder. Following that pleasurable sound was the soft noise of his own heartbeat, currently pounding harder and faster. To him, it announced that a climax was not too far away.

And so, he pumped harder.

Now, the vision presented her in the makeshift bathtub. She splashed water against her hot golden skin. Ribbons of sunlight—perhaps coming from a window—illuminated the droplets of bath water with a golden glitter, and it almost made her resemble a tropical flower covered in morning dew.

Harder…

Faster…

His mind was growing numb. His lips opened wide, but he was breathless, almost drooling. He could see her rubbing her skin passionately. Clearly, she enjoyed the feeling of her bath. What he would give to be with her right now, just to make her bath—no, to make _his_ bath more enjoyable. How he wanted to jump in there, just to lather her and wash her himself. To have that glorious opportunity to touch her. To wet her supple skin and smooth his hands all over her limbs, hips, shoulders, rear and breasts…

A little faster.

A bit harder.

 _Almost there._

Oh, and how lucky he would be if he got to make love to her right there, right now?...

Harder.

Harder.

Faster.

But, seriously, what was it like to fuck a girl in the bath tub? Damn, what he would give to find out right now…

"O-oooh…"

Faster.

Faster.

FASTER.

FASTER.

Ren gritted his teeth. He bit his lip, almost making himself bleed. He was at full speed and strength on himself. His hand was aching, but he did not care if this made his hand blister or break. Anything for that climax was worth it.

Anything. Just anything to come.

Anything to feel that sweet, sweet Nirvana of release.

"Rey…."

"Rey…"

He was seeing her from the side. Eyes fixated on the cleavage of her breast.

"Aaaaah…"

Then, her torso turned towards him.

"Aaaaaah!"

 _Want it._

 _Have to have it._

"AAA-AAAA-!"

In one final outcry, he arched his back out of the water. No longer fixated on the force, he blacked out of the vision.

That was when he came.

That was when the cycle of his suffering began again, like it had always done, all ever since meeting Rey.

~ooo~


	3. Chapter 3

_WARNING: This story contains spoilers from Star Wars Episode VII_

 _This story is rated M (16+) for language, violence, nudity, sexual content and some drug use._

 _Enjoy._

~ooo~

"Tell me, baby brother." Tazaar paced slowly past the bed. "How often has this been happening to you for?"

Ren folded his hands in his lap. He kept his head down. "Every night," he murmured.

The vampire turned around. Concern was sketched into her frowning lips. Releasing a sigh, she tilted her head and rubbed her neck. "For how long?" she asked softly.

"A while," he replied.

She walked to the bed. "Since that battle, isn't it?" she breathed. She took a seat beside the human.

All he gave her in return was a silent glance. Although Ren was undoubtedly toxic with emotion, his black eyes remained as blank as ever—his usual habit if he felt anything other than anger. Like vicious rapids, anger had always flowed from him without blockage. Habitually, he filtered everything else out of the flow, and little would anyone know how much Kylo Ren was keeping out of sight. Now, because of it, he was facing a major challenge. The man could only rage on for so long. He had given off so much fury over the past few weeks, but at this point, he was almost spent. Therefore, to cope with his strife, he had no choice but to reflect on the hidden feelings. What a struggle—he had been doing it so much more than usual, but he was _still_ horrible at talking about feelings.

And, oh damn… Was he seriously going to have to reflect on the fight on Starkiller again? It was already awkward that it forced him into a tearful mess. Not to mention, it was already enough of a struggle to open up to Hux's friend about it all. Oh gods, for how hard that discussion was, it should have kept him feeling better in the long-run. Hell, it was a _psychologist_ he spoke to, so wasn't Ren supposed to get something out of it?

Thankfully, he did not have to say anything next. Once again, he could feel Tazaar's crimson gaze narrowing upon him and seeping deep into his mind. Clearly, his face could not conceal the truth. She would know the whole story just by reading him.

That was the nice part about talking to another force-sensitive. Sometimes, reading Kylo Ren spared him the labor of self-expression.

With a sorrowful look, the queen let out another sigh and closed her eyes, bowing her head. "Just as I suspected," she said. "No wonder. Your eyes…. They've looked so strange since that day. I've seen those kind of eyes before. They're always on the faces of the broken-hearted. Always….. so sick… so starved… so done…"

All his feelings summed up in a nutshell. That was easy. Ren kept listening quietly.

She glanced back up. She took a deep breath. "I have not lost any faith in you," she explained. "I have not broken our deal, either. You still have the power within you. Even during the fight, my sister and I did everything we could to keep you strong." Her voice then lowered, almost into a serious whisper. "However," she continued, "I see the reason why you've lost."

"I've been told why," added Ren.

"And you still blame yourself, don't you?"

He paused.

"It may feel like it," said Tazaar, "but this is not your fault. The force is mysterious, but it is mighty. There are parts of it that we will never comprehend, let alone control. For that reason, it overcomes even the strongest of beings. Right now, it clearly wants to accomplish something, and you and the girl are part of it."

"So, what?" he snarled. "I have no choice but to suffer?"

Tazaar shook her head. "Not quite. You may not be able to control your feelings, but you still have the power to end your torment. In fact,…" Her hand cupped Ren's cheek. Her eyes connected with his as if she were ready to talk about a life-or-death situation. "You must resolve it," she uttered. " _That_ is where you have no choice, baby brother."

"What do you mean?" he exhaled.

Tazaar withdrew her hand. "You and I know awfully well that the girl is very strong with the Force," she answered. "Right now, she is a powerful asset for your enemies, and she might even be stronger than Luke Skywalker himself. She is your biggest threat, baby brother. The only thing keeping you from defeating her is your relentless thirst. In other words, should your lust continue to distract you, then…" Her dark brows furrowed. Her look turned grim. She was probably about to say the last thing Ren wanted to hear. "Then,… you will—"

Ren cut her off hastily. "There's obviously something I can do about it," he hissed. "I already know what I have to do, Tazaar. Don't waste your breath repeating things I already understand." Finishing his sentence, he coldly turned his head away, frustrated and somewhat disappointed. He expected better from Tazaar. This time, when he needed her silver speech more than ever, her rambling did not seem to help.

There was a brief moment of silence between them. However, the vampire was not finished. Her voice was calm again. "Your friend, Rogan," she continued. "What did he tell you to do?"

The raven-haired man kept his head turned. "He told me to take advantage of my feelings," he said. "To help me gain the energy to defeat her."

"He may understand people, but obviously, he doesn't understand the Force…"

"Your point?"

"That strategy won't work."

Ren turned his gaze back to her. Although his frustration had not weaned, her words rekindled his curiosity. Fighting Rey—the radiating core of his obsession, lust and strife—would not work. If that would not work, what would? His black eyes engaged with hers, this time beaming darkly. "Then I take it you have a suggestion," he murmured. If she was going to give him a suggestion, especially over a psychologist's advice, she have better had a good one. _She better have had one._

Tazaar breathed deep and leaned toward him. Her voice swept under her breath. Like a strange chemical, her soft tone thickened the serious, dark atmosphere between them. "There's only one way," she told him.

Ren was all ears now. _Go on_ , he demanded with his quiet stare. Would he finally be able to end his restless hunger? He would do it. Whatever it took. All Tazaar had to do was say it.

She was on the verge of opening her mouth. He could just imagine those next words right at that instant, dripping from her fangs, onto the tip of her tongue, ready to roll off any second. Yes, her words have worked sweet miracles for him before. Could those words purify his intoxicated mind and body? Could they wash him clean of his poisonous lust?

"Obey it," she uttered.

Ren shot her a puzzled stare. What did she mean? Obey it? Obey _what_?

"Obey the Force," she said. "Act on your desires."

Act on his lust?

Did she mean…

Ren said nothing back. Black eyes remained dull with confusion. Before he even realized it, the shadows of Tazaar's face were veiling over a soft grin. It was oddly playful, just the way one would stare pleasurably while courting. Was she joking with him? With a suggestion like that, she _had_ to be. And that smile felt as worse as alcohol pouring over an open wound. Oh, the nerve of that woman for seeking humor out of his pain! Had he the energy, he would have lunged forward at her toothy grin and pulled both of those cruel fangs out of her mouth…

But something caught his attention, and he stopped his accusations. He observed her more closely. Then, his eyes grew wide. There was something _much_ more to her smile. It looked serious enough to show that this was not a mere joke. Not in the slightest.

Yes. That was _exactly_ what she meant.

It did not matter if she was joking, though. The solution still hurt. In a fluster, Ren shot back up to his feet. "Impossible!" he yelled.

Tazaar blinked twice, but her demeanor did not shift. She cocked her head. "And how can you say that it's not possible?" she questioned.

The raven-haired man was desperately pacing across the room. He flung his hands into the air. " _You've_ seen her, Tazaar," he huffed. "The scavenger wants me dead! There's no way in Hoth she'll ever let me anywhere near her without a saber plunging at my throat, let alone allow me to do _that_. I would have to—…. Oh, fuck…" Ren stopped pacing. His face twisted with shock and disgust before he turned around to face the queen. "Y-you're… suggesting that I take her by force…"

The vampire frowned and sighed, shaking her head. "You don't have to," she commented.

Frustrated again, the knight scrunched his brows and gestured to his facial scar. "She nearly took my life," he stressed, "and you seriously believe that she has any desire for me?!"

She raised her brows. "As a matter of fact, I don't believe this," she retorted. "I _know_ this."

Ren raised his thick brows. Subconsciously, his ears sucked in those last few words. They stuck to his mind like ink on cloth, and his chest swelled with the most bizarre joy. No doubt, he _wanted_ those words to be true. Still, he feared being too gullible. He could not just believe in something simply because it was what he wanted to hear, especially something so unlikely. Instead, he shook it off, and he held tightly to his disbelief.

Then again… Would Tazaar ever lie to him? Her mind was one of the very few that Kylo Ren could never pierce into. If anyone were to tell him a good lie without him discovering, it would definitely be her. And with intuition alone, he was never quite good at ratting out liars. "Women always know when you lie," he was once told—that was the closest lesson to it. But how does a man ever know deep down when a woman lies?

Balancing curiosity with skepticism, Kylo Ren glared at the queen. "Enlighten me, then," he demanded. "Explain how such a…. _union_ may come to be."

Slowly, Tazaar reached to the empty spot beside her on the bed. She pat it gently. "Come sit," she soothingly commanded.

In an attempt to settle himself, Ren let out a massive huff. He rolled his eyes and bit his lip, then took a seat beside the queen. With arms crossed, he kept his eyes glued to her. _And no needlessly long speeches this time_ , he wanted to spit out at her. _Out with it._

"Now, listen," she began. "Remember that day after the Tatooine invasion, when you brought the girl to your interrogation chamber?"

Oh, how could he _not_?

Ren looked down. "I do," he replied.

"You were in her mind," she stated. "You _knew_. She was drawn to you the moment you took your helmet off before her. That _must_ have been the first thing you saw, even before looking for that map."

A short pause. His face was starting to turn blank once again. "I did," he said, nodding slowly, "but that changed soon after."

"Oh? Then let me ask you this… If she blocked you out of her head, then how would you know that her feelings disappeared?"

Her question irked him. "What kind of a question is _that_? For the last time, Tazaar. I told you how she behaved after I took Han Solo's life. The girl barely knew him for long, and she was already attached to that man like a baby chick. Hell, she…." Ren stopped when the memory of the forest battle flashed into his head. All that pulled up was her face—oh, that damn face. Almond eyes flaring, white teeth bearing, doll lips crooked into a snarl.

So perfect.

So stained with hate.

" _You're a monster…"_

If he had it in him right now, he would have flung up into a fit of rage, like he always did when this memory came up. Instead, he hung his head and shut his eyes. For some odd reason, he felt like he was on the verge of feeling something that he had never felt in so long. Certainly not something he felt since Kylo Ren came to be, but it was definitely something Ben Solo felt before.

Something only the weak and foolish feel. Kylo Ren should never feel it. _Never at all._ So, how else could he ever react to that memory besides being angry? He had to be angry, or else he would feel—

"You pay too much attention to her emotions," said Tazaar. "Forget about her anger. It means nothing."

"But she is angry," Ren replied. "That I can't ignore."

"That may be true, baby brother," answered the female, "but there are very few things out there that can ever erase attraction. Not even a grudge is enough. Just as the wind carries the sand over a dead body, fury can bury it, but no matter how deep it pushes it downward out of sight, it still exists. Of course, I agree that your 'enemy status' is an obstacle, but it's actually quite curable. In fact, it's probably the only thing standing between you and pure, sweet, mind-blowing pleasure with the girl." Glossed by the moonlight, her lips curled into a smirk. "For that matter," she continued, "if we can maybe soften things up between you two, or at least somehow find a way around her anger, then there's no doubt she wouldn't mind sharing the bed with you."

"…. S-soften things… up?" He squinted. "That's… easier said than done."

Her smirk grew wider. "I won't argue with that," she confessed. "That's why I'd be more than glad to assist you in this, baby brother."

The knight raised a brow. Now, Tazaar was making sense. Perhaps she was on to something. Besides, what did he have to lose for trusting in her? "Go on," he insisted.

"Listen carefully…" Tazaar crept closer to Ren, snaking around and up behind him like a phantom. Soft hands made their way upon his shoulders. Shadows started to veil her face as her head tilted downward. The delicate sensation of warm air gracing Ren's ear told him how close the vampire actually was. Subsequently, the man looked forward, a deep stare going straight across the room, while every hair stood on the nape of his neck. Damn, how her invasive nature never ceased to power up his nerves.

With a voice as sweet as sugar, she whispered to him. "You're not the only one who needs her," she breathed. "We can make this more convenient and kill many birds with one stone with the girl… At this point, I don't think your supreme leader would turn down a little extra help, let alone from someone so strong with the Force. Also, you're still collecting people to add to your little family of force-sensitive buddies, aren't you? Think about it—for all we know, she could be like a queen on a chessboard. She could be the key to turning this entire war around."

"There's only one way to do that," murmured Ren.

Ren could feel Tazaar nod by the way her dark threads brushed against his neck. "And it's the same way I think you will get to have her."

"So then, you're saying we..."

"Yes, baby brother… The girl must join us… and be seduced to the Dark Side."

Dark eyes widened.

His heart throbbed.

"Yes, but… That could take a while…"

Tazaar shook her head. "Not quite," she said. "Not with _my_ help."

His breath deepened.

His mouth ran dry.

Maybe, not all hope was lost.

"Well?..."

Again, what did he have to lose?

 _It could be not too far away now…_

 _That fantasy…_

The fantasy that Rey always harbored. In that interrogation room, she infected him with it. Now, it was his turn to be haunted by that fantasy every night, whether he liked it or not.

 _It begins with an ocean. A horizon shrouded in blue. In the middle of the azure, the sun's rays kiss the hills of a lonely green island._

 _Just by the water, on the white sands of that island, Kylo Ren stands. In the distance walking toward him is a female in the most beautiful, natural, wild form imaginable._

 _Rey…_

 _When she is close enough, he reaches out to her, pulling her in with such an eager embrace. He stares into her eyes deeply, and he drinks in her beauty before leaning forward and tasting her lips. The kiss gets deeper and deeper, and soon the couple ends up lying upon each other in the warm, soft sand. As that kiss continues, caresses commence, and their hands rush around desperately as if meaning to cover every beautiful inch of flesh. Feeling her soft skin, hearing her breath and breathing in her scent, he becomes seduced. Within minutes, his clothes and hers come off, piece by piece, revealing the two in their raw form._

 _Her hips…. Her breasts… Her legs…. She looks so beautiful lying there beneath him. She makes him ache with lust. It is not long before he ends up inside her, and without a doubt, he makes the most out of it. He makes love to her in all the hottest ways. Occasionally, he even lets the girl have a taste of his manhood while he hungrily returns the favor. The waves play in the background of their moans and cries of passion._

 _Finally, it ends with him at his climax. Rey rides on top and arches her back before unleashing one last outcry and then…._

"Baby brother?"

In a hungry trance, Kylo Ren slowly turned his head to her. "Very well," he whispered. "I trust that you can do this. But if you wish to accomplish this, you must speak with my master first."

The queen graced her face with a cheerful grin. Her pearl-white fangs glimmered.

"Then it's settled….

"You will have her soon."

~ooo~


End file.
